August 11, 2026
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I’m often asked, “Christine, how can I create success in my life using NLP?”
My immediate answer is always, “Define success please”.
What does success actually mean to you? It is a simple question, although the answer often throws people off balance a bit. For one person, success might mean building a thriving business, or it could mean having more freedom, spending more time with family, developing greater confidence, achieving a personal goal or simply waking up each morning feeling fulfilled. One of my wonderful graduates told me just yesterday that for her, success has always being about achieving an unshakable sense of inner calm and peace.
The definition of success can’t be generalised. Success is unique to everyone and is defined by a combination of your experiences, beliefs, values, ambitions and the stage of life you are currently at. What you considered successful ten years ago may be very different from what it means to you today.
The “What is success?” question is important because if you don’t define success for yourself, you can easily end up pursuing someone else’s version of it. You can achieve the promotion, earn the money, build the business or gain the recognition, only to discover that something still feels incomplete.
From an Neuro Linguistic Programming perspective, one of the most interesting questions you can ask is, “What are successful people actually doing differently that produces their results?”
This question takes you into the world of modelling, the investigation of the differences that make a difference.
Modelling is the foundation of NLP and is built upon curiosity and experimentation about how those we deem to be ‘successful’ have achieved their results. The modelling process explores their thinking, behaviour, beliefs, strategies, language, physiology and the way they respond to the world around them. NLP modelling pulls out the details of success.
Modelling becomes particularly powerful when you want to develop a new skill or behaviour and to learn it more quickly than the expert took to learn it initially.
Let’s imagine for a moment that you want to become an outstanding public speaker. You could spend years experimenting with different approaches and gradually discovering what works for you. Alternatively, you could identify someone who is already exceptional at public speaking and become fascinated by how they do it.
Modelling the skill involves breaking it down into its constituent components and discovering the answers to some key questions. For example, public speaking and training questions may begin with:
How do they prepare?
What do they focus on immediately before speaking?
How do they manage their state?
What do they believe about themselves and their audience?
How do they structure their presentation?
What do they do when something unexpected happens?
What do they say to themselves?
How do they use their voice and physiology?
What makes them passionate about what they are communicating?
The more carefully you explore these questions, the more you begin to uncover the structure behind their success. This is the essence of modelling. You are looking for the difference that makes the difference whilst ignoring the idiosyncratic.
One of the most valuable aspects of modelling is the realisation that success is rarely based on a single behaviour. Highly successful people tend to have a combination of factors working together. Going back to our example, at the Quest for Success NLP Trainers Training, we help you to install 30 separate new behaviours so you can reach the pinnacle of public speaking excellence.
Among the most important ingredients of successful behaviours are are passion, values and courage. Passion provides energy. When you are genuinely passionate about something, you are more likely to remain engaged when progress is slow. You are more willing to learn, practise, adapt and continue. Passion gives you a reason to keep moving towards something that matters to you.
Think about something you have achieved in your own life. There was probably a reason it mattered to you. Perhaps you were excited about the outcome, ready to prove something to yourself or perhaps you cared deeply about the people you were helping. Whatever the reason, there was an emotional connection that gave you energy. This makes your actions far more than going through the motions. You will have a compelling reason for doing what you do. This means being clear about your ‘why’.
Your values are the things that are important to you and you are willing to expend time and energy on. Values influence the decisions you make, the goals you pursue and the experiences that you find meaningful. Two people can pursue exactly the same external goal and experience completely different levels of satisfaction because the goal connects differently with their values. Being aware of your values will show you how you can build the energy and create the time to pursue success. Your values provide you with the drive to succeed.
Success requires you to move beyond what is familiar and into uncertainty. That means being willing to step outside your zone of comfort. You may need to make challenging decisions, put yourself forward and ask for an opportunity, start something new, have a difficult conversation or take a step that feels uncomfortable because it’s new.
Having courage means that you are willing to move forward while experiencing uncertainty and the emotional states that accompany stepping into the unknown.
When you model successful people, pay particular attention to how they respond to challenges. Do they interpret setbacks as evidence that they can’t succeed, or do they treat them as feedback for adjustment and go again? Do they wait until they feel completely confident, or do they develop confidence through taking action? These distinctions are incredibly valuable.
One of the reasons modelling can be a fast track to your success is that you don’t have to reinvent the wheel. You can learn from someone who has already travelled further along the path you want to take. You can identify excellence, study it and then practise the elements that make it work and the key word is practise.
Modelling is not simply watching successful people and hoping some of their success will somehow transfer to you. You need to explore what they do, understand the patterns and then apply what you have discovered. You also need to test your model. Does it work for you?
Does it produce the result you want? Does it fit with your values? Does it move you towards the life you actually want? Your success should be meaningful, sustainable and aligned with who you are.
At Quest for Success Ltd, we know that NLP gives you powerful ways to understand how people think, communicate and create results. Modelling takes this curiosity one step further. Instead of simply asking what someone has achieved, you begin to discover how they achieved it. You can then take the useful elements, adapt them to your own circumstances and create your own version of success. Remember, your success does not have to look like anyone else’s, it simply needs to be meaningful to you.
When you combine passion with clear values, add the courage to take action and learn from people who are already achieving what you want, you give yourself a powerful foundation for growth. Success is something you can explore, understand and develop and the first step is to become curious.
Find someone who is excellent at something that you want to become better at and ask if you can study what they do. Talk to them and discover what drives them, what they believe and how they think. Then take one small piece of what you have discovered and put it into action.
You may be surprised by how quickly one new strategy can begin to change what you believe is possible for you.
It’s time to get curious and experiment.
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