Support v's Sabotage

June 21, 2023

Support v's Sabotage is a very important frame for life across all contexts. Wherever you seek success, support or sabotage can be identified. At work, at play and within your family unit. Have you ever reflected on the amount of support you receive daily versus the possibility that you are experiencing sabotage? What do I mean by sabotage? You experience sabotage when steps are taken to intentionally prevent the success of a plan or an action. Where does sabotage come from in the context of your success? It comes from two main sources:

• Internally to you. Self-sabotage.

• Externally to you. The sabotage of other people.

To assist us in unpacking the meaning of this frame, let's consider the concept in black and white terms. Imagine that, in the process of doing something, in taking an action towards a goal, you either create support for that action or you sabotage it.  Presupposing that there is no half-way house, no grey area, then you could postulate that anything less than total support is therefore an act of sabotage.

Self-sabotage generally occurs when the emotion of fear is involved. Fear of success. Why would anyone hold the emotion of fear when considering being successful? I've had the pleasure of working with many coaching clients who have experienced exactly that. The reasons for self-sabotage vary from person to person and they always have a purpose. For example, one client consistently self-sabotaged because they were afraid of the reactions of others to their success. The fear that someone will attempt to drag them down from their upward trajectory, judging them to be unworthy and accusing them of foul play. Another of my clients self-sabotaged because they thought that being successful would raise expectations of themselves and others and they would have to continue on the path towards more and more success and ultimately end up on a path of action which was beyond their perception of their capability. A third client self-sabotaged when their plans and actions got too close to the edge of their comfort zone. Their activities felt uncomfortably new and difficult, their confidence waned and so they pulled back from their plans and began to operate in shades of grey instead.

So, self-sabotage is inextricably connected to your belief system. If you can't hold the belief that you can achieve something and be 100% convinced of the validity of that belief, then you are not assuming total responsibility for your success. 100% means complete support and commitment to yourself, anything less than that manifests as self-sabotage. If you have limiting beliefs active within your neurology, then quite unconsciously and unwittingly, you are self-sabotaging your own success. The great news is that NLP holds within it some wonderfully rapid and easy to execute techniques to get rid of those limiting beliefs and replace them with empowering new ones.

 

Now let's consider support and sabotage from the external world. The action and inaction of those that you surround yourself with. Consider this for a moment, the more willing you are to support others, the more you will, in turn, be supported. The more you give, the more you will receive. The support of others fills you with the motivation and energy to press forward and to work actively towards success, whilst sabotage feels like you are having your life force being sucked out of you. I'm sure you have some energy vampires and mood hoovers within your circle? The question is, what are you willing to do about that? Cutting the energetic ties with the saboteurs in your life may initially feel like a drastic move, it will seriously increase your success in the long run. Remember, anything less than 100% support is sabotage. Why do people wish to be so uncharitable? Again, the reasons are many. Some saboteurs are fuelled by jealousy, driven by their own limiting beliefs about their own capability. Others are operating from a place of love coupled with insecurity. They are afraid that your success will move you away from them, that they will no longer have the same place in your life and so they act to prevent you from being any different than you are now. Some saboteurs are responding to 'tall poppy syndrome', the need for uniformity and consistency. If one flower grows taller and stronger than the rest, they must be topped immediately and returned to the hight of all the other flowers in the field. It simply isn't right that one element is standing taller and prouder than the rest. If you are at the mercy of a saboteur in your circle, then it's time to cut the ties and create new connections with those who are offering complete and total support.  

 

Of course, your growth and expansion are proportional to your willingness to allow support to be given to you by others. The more you are willing to allow the right people to support you, the more you will be supported. Support and collaboration are the very foundational factors of successful living. Human beings are hard-wired to function best in social groups, in community. The key to your success is to believe in yourself 100% and to believe in the positive intentions of those you choose to co-habit this earth alongside. Choose carefully and remember, anything less than 100% support is sabotage.

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