Resolving Internal Conflict

November 17, 2021

Have you ever experienced an internal conflict? What do I mean by that exactly? Have you ever found it really hard to make a decision because there seem to be so many pro’s and con’s to consider? Each side seems to weigh in equally and the decision seems impossible to make. On the one hand, you would like to decide with the pro’s and on the other hand the con’s seem to make the most compelling argument. You get stuck and decide nothing, you can’t move forward from that place.

Have you ever used the language, ‘well part of me believes that I can have everything I want in life and part of me thinks that I don’t deserve everything I want’? This is a great example of an internal conflict. Have you ever thought, ‘on the one hand I believe I’m good enough to succeed and on the other hand I really don’t believe I’m good enough’? Another example of an internal conflict.

Imagine for a moment that you live with someone and you argue all of the time, I mean every second of every day of every week of every month and every year. How much of your energy would it take to maintain that argument and to never have it resolved? That’s right, it would take every particle of your internal energy to keep that argument going with the intensity that it deserves. That is what you are doing when you are maintaining an internal conflict.

Listen to the old adage, ‘It’s like having the devil on one shoulder and an angel on the other.’ Each is whispering different advice into your ear, in their own unique and persuasive voices, you hear both, causing you to feel conflicted, out of alignment and incongruent. An internal conflict is difficult to break free from until you know how to resolve it and make decision making really easy. At the same time as resolving the conflict, you release all of the energy that you have been using to maintain the conflict and it becomes instantly available for you to put to more positive and productive use. Resolving internal conflict restores balance to your psychology and physiology and opens the windows to great health and wellbeing. Now that’s something worth knowing isn’t it?

Within the school of NLP that we teach at Quest for Success Ltd (ABNLP accredited and regulated) and within our personal coaching sessions, there is an incredibly powerful technique called Parts Integration. We teach Parts Integration within our Enhanced NLP Coach Practitioner Certification Programme. It’s one of the most popular exercises with our students, as the changes it creates are magical.

What is Parts Integration? It’s a simple and yet highly effective means of resolving internal conflict. So, when you are permanently conflicted or there is something that you believe about yourself part of the time and the rest of the time you believe something else, then Parts Integration is the only answer for a rapid resolution.

There is a part of your mind that in NLP we call your ‘unconscious’ mind. Now, there is nothing supernatural or ‘out there’ about this concept, it’s simply that part of your mind that you are not consciously aware of right now. It’s the part that stores all of you memories, produces your natural behaviour and runs your body on a second by second basis. A very important mind I’m sure you’ll agree. The unconscious mind works best as a whole, fully integrated unit. On occasion, as we move through life and experience its ups and downs, the unconscious mind becomes divided up into what we call ‘parts’.

The parts in our unconscious mind are what create our inner conflict. A part has its own values and beliefs system and its very own set of behaviours which are focussed on a certain intent or outcome. The rest of the unconscious mind also has a system of values and beliefs with associated behaviours and a certain intent and outcome. The conflict occurs because the part asserts its values, beliefs and behaviour at the same time as the rest of the unconscious mind does this in the opposite direction, hence an internal conflict is established and maintained by the part. It feels like an unconscious tug of war, filling up your neurology and clouding your thoughts.

Parts believe that they are right and that they are in charge of the whole system (your neurology) and so will assert themselves appropriately. It is not until the part is re-integrated into the larger whole that the conflict can be finally removed and congruence restored through a process of alignment.

So how can we go about integrating parts so that they re-join the larger whole of the unconscious mind? The technique of Parts Integration is part of our Enhanced NLP Coach Practitioner Certification Training. Students find this technique to be one of the most transformative and powerful, next to Time Line Therapy® which we also certify you in the use of.

Parts Integration works on the assumption that both the part and the larger whole of the unconscious mind have the same, positive highest intention for you. This is the key for a successful negotiation. Where there is ultimate agreement between two parts, then there is a basis for re-integration.  The technique allows both parts to notice that they both have the same highest positive intention, that they each have resources that the other part can use and that they can come together in synergy and harmony through the process of integration.

Take a moment to jot down any internal conflicts that you might have, anything that contains the language, ‘on the one hand’ or ‘part of me’ and think about how much easier it would be to move forward successfully, to accelerate your progress towards your goals and to release all that energy that you have been using to maintain the conflict if you no longer had the conflict. How would that change things for you?  

I look forward to sharing the specific technique with you when we meet at our next Enhanced NLP Coach Practitioner Certification Training. Please get in touch if you would like to discuss the training in more detail and explore your motivation to attend a training so you know that this training is the one for you. To get where you want to go, it takes action, it only takes a phone call to make the first step to gaining all the new personal and professional strategies you need to increase your potential and get what you want in life. Action = Outcomes so leave the procrastination behind and take the first step towards a more compelling future.

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