Resolving Internal Conflict

November 17, 2021

Have you ever experienced an internal conflict? What do I mean by that exactly? Have you ever found it really hard to make a decision because there seem to be so many pro’s and con’s to consider? Each side seems to weigh in equally and the decision seems impossible to make. On the one hand, you would like to decide with the pro’s and on the other hand the con’s seem to make the most compelling argument. You get stuck and decide nothing, you can’t move forward from that place.

Have you ever used the language, ‘well part of me believes that I can have everything I want in life and part of me thinks that I don’t deserve everything I want’? This is a great example of an internal conflict. Have you ever thought, ‘on the one hand I believe I’m good enough to succeed and on the other hand I really don’t believe I’m good enough’? Another example of an internal conflict.

Imagine for a moment that you live with someone and you argue all of the time, I mean every second of every day of every week of every month and every year. How much of your energy would it take to maintain that argument and to never have it resolved? That’s right, it would take every particle of your internal energy to keep that argument going with the intensity that it deserves. That is what you are doing when you are maintaining an internal conflict.

Listen to the old adage, ‘It’s like having the devil on one shoulder and an angel on the other.’ Each is whispering different advice into your ear, in their own unique and persuasive voices, you hear both, causing you to feel conflicted, out of alignment and incongruent. An internal conflict is difficult to break free from until you know how to resolve it and make decision making really easy. At the same time as resolving the conflict, you release all of the energy that you have been using to maintain the conflict and it becomes instantly available for you to put to more positive and productive use. Resolving internal conflict restores balance to your psychology and physiology and opens the windows to great health and wellbeing. Now that’s something worth knowing isn’t it?

Within the school of NLP that we teach at Quest for Success Ltd (ABNLP accredited and regulated) and within our personal coaching sessions, there is an incredibly powerful technique called Parts Integration. We teach Parts Integration within our Enhanced NLP Coach Practitioner Certification Programme. It’s one of the most popular exercises with our students, as the changes it creates are magical.

What is Parts Integration? It’s a simple and yet highly effective means of resolving internal conflict. So, when you are permanently conflicted or there is something that you believe about yourself part of the time and the rest of the time you believe something else, then Parts Integration is the only answer for a rapid resolution.

There is a part of your mind that in NLP we call your ‘unconscious’ mind. Now, there is nothing supernatural or ‘out there’ about this concept, it’s simply that part of your mind that you are not consciously aware of right now. It’s the part that stores all of you memories, produces your natural behaviour and runs your body on a second by second basis. A very important mind I’m sure you’ll agree. The unconscious mind works best as a whole, fully integrated unit. On occasion, as we move through life and experience its ups and downs, the unconscious mind becomes divided up into what we call ‘parts’.

The parts in our unconscious mind are what create our inner conflict. A part has its own values and beliefs system and its very own set of behaviours which are focussed on a certain intent or outcome. The rest of the unconscious mind also has a system of values and beliefs with associated behaviours and a certain intent and outcome. The conflict occurs because the part asserts its values, beliefs and behaviour at the same time as the rest of the unconscious mind does this in the opposite direction, hence an internal conflict is established and maintained by the part. It feels like an unconscious tug of war, filling up your neurology and clouding your thoughts.

Parts believe that they are right and that they are in charge of the whole system (your neurology) and so will assert themselves appropriately. It is not until the part is re-integrated into the larger whole that the conflict can be finally removed and congruence restored through a process of alignment.

So how can we go about integrating parts so that they re-join the larger whole of the unconscious mind? The technique of Parts Integration is part of our Enhanced NLP Coach Practitioner Certification Training. Students find this technique to be one of the most transformative and powerful, next to Time Line Therapy® which we also certify you in the use of.

Parts Integration works on the assumption that both the part and the larger whole of the unconscious mind have the same, positive highest intention for you. This is the key for a successful negotiation. Where there is ultimate agreement between two parts, then there is a basis for re-integration.  The technique allows both parts to notice that they both have the same highest positive intention, that they each have resources that the other part can use and that they can come together in synergy and harmony through the process of integration.

Take a moment to jot down any internal conflicts that you might have, anything that contains the language, ‘on the one hand’ or ‘part of me’ and think about how much easier it would be to move forward successfully, to accelerate your progress towards your goals and to release all that energy that you have been using to maintain the conflict if you no longer had the conflict. How would that change things for you?  

I look forward to sharing the specific technique with you when we meet at our next Enhanced NLP Coach Practitioner Certification Training. Please get in touch if you would like to discuss the training in more detail and explore your motivation to attend a training so you know that this training is the one for you. To get where you want to go, it takes action, it only takes a phone call to make the first step to gaining all the new personal and professional strategies you need to increase your potential and get what you want in life. Action = Outcomes so leave the procrastination behind and take the first step towards a more compelling future.

November 30, 2022

Valuing Values

Read Blog
November 3, 2022

Stand Out & Get Noticed

Read Blog
October 31, 2022

Nature's Change Toolkit

Read Blog
October 19, 2022

Avoiding The Language of Lack

Read Blog
October 5, 2022

Rejecting the Memory of Old Emotions

Read Blog
September 16, 2022

Understanding NLP in Business

Read Blog
August 31, 2022

The Magic of Listening

Read Blog
August 17, 2022

Mindful Selling

Read Blog
August 3, 2022

Arguing for Your Limitations

Read Blog
July 6, 2022

A Story of Creating Health & Wellbeing

Read Blog
June 28, 2022

Carrot or Stick?

Read Blog
June 14, 2022

Powerful Coaching with NLP

Read Blog
June 1, 2022

Reclaiming Your Personal Power

Read Blog
May 18, 2022

It's All In Your Head

Read Blog
May 4, 2022

How to Get Out Of Your Own Way

Read Blog
April 11, 2022

From Lost to Found - A True Story

Read Blog
April 4, 2022

Dismantling a Problematic Past

Read Blog
March 23, 2022

Creating Alignment in Teams

Read Blog
March 4, 2022

When Is A Board Not A Board?

Read Blog
February 22, 2022

What Next? A Flexible Mind is Your Friend

Read Blog
January 21, 2022

Stories of Real People & Real Lives

Read Blog
December 31, 2021

Tips for Hitting Your Targets

Read Blog
December 8, 2021

Hearing Beyond The Silence

Read Blog
November 24, 2021

Stand Out As The Best Version Of You

Read Blog
November 17, 2021

Resolving Internal Conflict

Read Blog
November 3, 2021

The Magic of Symbolism & Metaphor

Read Blog
October 21, 2021

Healthy Mind and Healthy Body

Read Blog
October 7, 2021

Congruent Coaching - The Meeting of Minds

Read Blog
September 3, 2021

Your Mind is Like a Parachute...

Read Blog
September 1, 2021

Shifting Perspective on Difficult Relationships

Read Blog
September 1, 2021

From Darkness to Light

Read Blog
August 25, 2021

Handy Hints for Transforming Relationships

Read Blog
August 12, 2021

The Vitality of Self-Care

Read Blog
July 21, 2021

Awakening Your Independent Thinking

Read Blog
July 7, 2021

Fearful to Fearless

Read Blog
June 30, 2021

Uncertainty Principle

Read Blog
June 16, 2021

Perception is Projection

Read Blog
June 2, 2021

5 Minute Belief Change

Read Blog
May 26, 2021

Shedding The Labels of Life

Read Blog
May 12, 2021

Crack Into Your Potential

Read Blog
April 28, 2021

How to Use More of Your Powerful Mind

Read Blog
April 13, 2021

Connecting With Your 6th Sense

Read Blog
April 13, 2021

It's Time To Spring Clean...Your Mind

Read Blog
April 8, 2021

Flexible Thinking

Read Blog
March 23, 2021

Why Learn NLP?

Read Blog
March 11, 2021

A Leopard & Its Spots

Read Blog
March 10, 2021

The Five Minute Problem Solver

Read Blog
March 3, 2021

Tips for Dealing with Overwhelm

Read Blog
February 24, 2021

Happiness v's Success - Which is Winning?

Read Blog
February 17, 2021

The Domino Effect

Read Blog
February 10, 2021

Ideodynamic Health in Hypnosis

Read Blog
February 3, 2021

5 Ways to Help Your Child Learn

Read Blog
January 20, 2021

4 Tips for Increasing Your Influence

Read Blog
January 13, 2021

5 NLP Tips for Generating Business

Read Blog
January 7, 2021

The Secret of Self-Hypnosis

Read Blog
December 9, 2020

Tips for Getting Motivated

Read Blog
December 3, 2020

5 Daily Exercises for Great Mental Health

Read Blog
November 18, 2020

What is NLP...Really? Understand More

Read Blog
November 11, 2020

The Formula for Personal Empowerment

Read Blog
October 15, 2020

Every Word Counts  Dive Into Language

Read Blog
October 7, 2020

Modern Hypnosis Revealed

Read Blog
August 21, 2020

Language of Magic and Magic of Language

Read Blog
July 2, 2020

Making Sales Fun - Even If You Are An Introvert!

Read Blog
June 18, 2020

NLP - Accelerating Your Business Success

Read Blog
June 10, 2020

Why Some Problems Feel Unsolvable

Read Blog
June 3, 2020

Exploring the 3 Minds of Self

Read Blog
May 26, 2020

Coaching Language - Keeping it Clean.

Read Blog
May 20, 2020

Holding An Audience In The Palm Of Your Hand

Read Blog
May 13, 2020

Tackling Tension in Teams

Read Blog
May 6, 2020

The Rise of NLP in Education - Research

Read Blog
April 29, 2020

Understanding Approach or Avoidance Personality

Read Blog
April 22, 2020

3-Dimensional Problem Solving

Read Blog
April 1, 2020

Connecting With The Capable You

Read Blog
March 20, 2020

How To Cope When Everything Changes

Read Blog
March 5, 2020

Powerful & Purposeful Coaching Systems

Read Blog
January 22, 2020

How to get in control of you without the hassle.

Read Blog
January 9, 2020

Your Ultimate Guide to 365 Success

Read Blog
December 12, 2019

The Secrets of Goal Getting

Read Blog
October 22, 2019

Stress Tolerance - The Silent Saboteur

Read Blog
October 17, 2019

Are You Ready to Adapt to a Changing World?

Read Blog
October 14, 2019

Importance of Sleep -  How to Get More of It.

Read Blog
September 6, 2019

Coaching with Powerful Results

Read Blog
August 22, 2019

7 Steps to Personal Success

Read Blog
June 21, 2019

Releasing a lifetime of trauma with Time Line Therapy

Read Blog
June 21, 2019

Oh no, it’s bin day

Read Blog
June 21, 2019

Success Factor Modelling

Read Blog
FREE NLP Training