Effective communication is a critical core competency of any human interaction, whether business, corporate or personal in nature. Everyone you meet processes information in a different and unique way, so how is it possible to communicate effectively utilising resonant language, with everyone and anyone? The answer is simple, NLP thinking.
1. Believe in your message
The primary element towards stimulating a constructive dialogue that you simply must embrace is what you believe about your message. The transmission of deep-seated personal beliefs isn’t something that you are consciously aware of and it is happening all of the time when you are conversing with others. You project your beliefs through your physiology, energy and language outside of your conscious awareness, so if you have no belief in your message there will be no resonance for your audience. Make sure you fully understand the reasoning behind the message, the desired destination and believe in it.
2. Adopt a resourceful emotional state
As you approach your key conversation, think carefully about your own emotional state at the point of delivery. NLP provides us with a practical state management technique called anchoring. Anchoring allows you to change your emotional state to something more useful, on demand. There is little to be gained from having a conversation when you are angry, frustrated, nervous, fearful, anxious or upset. Absolutely the best state to be in is one of relaxed alertness and some well-placed, appropriate humour goes a long way towards generating essential rapport.
3. Build rapport
We often hear about a magical condition between two individuals or an individual and a group that is known as rapport and do we really know how to create it at a very deep level? At its most basic, rapport is a process of matching and mirroring of physiology. It is an accepted psychological phenomenon that people like people who are like them and are willing to assist them in achieving their goals. Making conscious connections with the unconscious minds of your audience is how you are going to take them with you on the change journey and to have them accept your difficult message uncritically. Extend your matching and mirroring beyond the boundaries of the obviously physiological and match the expressions, idiosyncratic language, sensory preferences, voice speed, pitch, volume, quality and most significantly, match the breathing patterns to create a most mystical connection.
4. Linguistic structuring
So, you believe in your message and you are in a useful emotional state. You have spent some time building deep rapport with your audience, now and only now should you deliver your message. At this point, the way you have constructed your message will dictate your results. Always begin with some robust reasons as to why your audience will benefit from hearing what you have to say. As everyone likes to receive information differently, make sure that you use a recipe that combines visual, auditory, kinesthetic, olfactory and gustatory linguistic ingredients. This is the ‘big picture’ offering and should include all of the positive reasons why your message is important and worth hearing.
Use your sensory acuity to observe your audience and when you sense that you have buy-in to the why statements, then you can tell them what the message is. A great way to add colour to your communication is to use metaphor which touches each individual at the personal level and opens up access to the unconscious mind in a way that seems almost magical in its nature. The use of stories in your message will create a myriad of coloured threads which can be woven into a rich tapestry illustrating your message in a way that is palatable and even compelling. Keep your language positive at all times. The unconscious mind does not process negatives, so say it the way you want it.
Next, your message should describe how your message is important. This is the point where you can leverage a wider range of perspectives by stimulating conversation and opinion. Encourage discussion, questions, and self-coaching to develop. Now you have a communicative conversation.
Remember, every time you speak you change the way someone feels, so always focus on generating positive outcomes in your communication and they will be effective every time.
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