You might have heard the phrase ‘Imposter Syndrome’ thrown around in conversations at home or at work? You may have even quietly nodded in agreement, recognising yourself in the descriptions without saying the words out loud. That inner feeling that you’re faking it. That persistent whisper that you don’t truly belong in the role that you have undoubtedly earned on merit. That lurking suspicion that one day someone will discover you’re not good enough after all.
If that sounds familiar, know this, you are not alone and you are absolutely not broken. Now is the time to begin freeing yourself of this label, that is what it is, it’s just a label that has been invented to describe a way of thinking, emotional content and certain unconscious behaviours.
Let’s take a closer look at what this label has come mean as it has become a social norm, how it manifests in your life, and more importantly, how you can choose not to accept it using the practical change tools of Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP).
What is Imposter Syndrome really? It is a label, created out of nowhere and really not useful in describing anything specific, it is a very generalised term. The socially accepted norm is that it is a label that describes your experience when you feel like a fraud, regardless of your achievements. Even when you have worked hard, performed well, and succeeded, there is a disconnect, an incongruence, between what you have done and how you feel about yourself. In effect, it is self-judgement.
You might brush off compliments and respond to them in the negative or say, “it was nothing”. You might worry that others have overestimated your abilities, replay mistakes in your mind long after they have happened, while glossing over victories almost instantly. This thinking is normal human behaviour, it is not indicative of a syndrome! Modern day society loves a label!
Imposter Syndrome is not a condition or an identity or a behavioural flaw. It is, quite simply, a label and one you do not have to keep. Labels can be changed, they are not permanent, you simply have to choose not to accept a label. Perhaps you enjoy the label because it describes an element of how you feel, acting as a convenient hook for you to hang your behaviour on. How resourceful is living up to the label for you? Would you be far more successful living without it?
When you choose to carry the imposter label, and it really is a choice, certain patterns tend to emerge in your behaviour and thinking. Recognising them is the first step to changing them.
For example, you may:
• Set impossibly high standards for yourself and feel disheartened when you feel that you do not meet them to your own satisfaction, focussing on ‘perfection’ rather than excellence.
• Attribute success to external factors like luck, timing, or the help of others.
• Fear being ‘found out’ as incapable or unqualified. If that is true, and you really are incapable and unqualified, then that is reality, not a syndrome. It is better to come clean and let go of the fear. If you are capable and qualified, then that is also your reality, so step into it.
• Downplay your strengths or deflect praise with humour or self-deprecation.
• Procrastinate or over prepare due to fear of failure or not measuring up. Remember, there is no such thing as failure, it is simply feedback that you can choose to build into your growth pattern.
These behaviours are not flaws, they are strategies that your unconscious mind developed to allow you to avoid stepping out of your comfort zone, because that is what you are instructing it to do. The good news is, if you learned to think and act this way, then you can unlearn it too.
So where did this thinking and behaviour begin? You didn’t wake up one day and decide to doubt yourself and label yourself with imposter syndrome. These patterns are shaped by experiences, environments, and the language you absorbed which have lead to the unconscious installation of limiting beliefs. For example, you may have grown up in a culture that valued perfection over growth or consistently heard comparisons made between you and others. Perhaps you internalised the idea that confidence equals arrogance, so you kept yourself small and confined to the background. Whatever the origin, what matters now is that you have the power to rewrite your story.
NLP is a widely used methodology for understanding and changing the patterns of thought, behaviour, and the language that serve to shape your experience of life. NLP is about recognising how you do what you do, and then installing new choices that serve you better.
When it comes to imposter feelings, NLP helps you to discover that you are not the emotion or thought, that is not how your identity is established. You are simply the one noticing them and giving them a convenient label. NLP can help you let go of Imposter Syndrome and step into your real identity, the actual you.
The first step is to change your internal dialogue. That critical voice in your head isn’t you. It’s a part of your thinking that has taken on too much power. NLP allows you to identify the tone, volume, and rhythm of that internal voice and change it. Imagine turning the volume down. Imagine making it sound like a silly cartoon character. Immediately, the thought loses its intensity. You no longer have to obey it. When you change the way you speak to yourself, you change the way you feel about yourself.
Next, choose to rewrite the meaning of past experiences. You’ve made mistakes, of course you have, mistakes are a function of human experience and are indicative of someone who seeks to step outside of their comfort zone and grow. You’ve also had successes. Yet, for some reason, your internal dialogue keeps replaying the few missteps on a loop while brushing past your achievements.
With NLP, you can revisit those memories not to dwell on them, to reframe them into a new level of meaning. You learn to extract learnings from the past and let go of the emotional charge that you have associated with them. That presentation you stumbled through, becomes a stepping stone to the next fabulous speaking opportunity. That job you didn’t get becomes an opportunity for redirection. Your past no longer defines you, it informs you and facilitates your continued growth.
A belief is just a thought that you have had many times. That means a new belief is just a new thought repeated with emotion and consistency. NLP helps you to remove old limiting beliefs and install new empowering beliefs.
What would happen if you believed:
• “I deserve to be here.”
• “I am competent, capable, and growing.”
• “I bring something unique that no one else can.”
These aren’t affirmations you repeat blindly inside your head, they become real because you will create new internal representations, creating new, more resourceful states.
The term ‘Imposter’ seeks to define who you believe you are. NLP allows you to drop the label and focus instead on who you choose to be. You are not an imposter, you are a learner, a leader, someone who values growth, integrity and excellence. When you root your identity in your values rather than your doubts, you become unshakable. This is not about pretending to be confident, it is about being congruent and aligning your actions, thoughts, and language with your true self.
One of the most powerful tools in NLP is future pacing. You imagine the future you want, step into it mentally and emotionally, and let that vision pull you forward. When you picture yourself thriving you begin to embody that version of yourself. Your nervous system learns that success, growth and visibility are incredibly empowering. You don’t have to wait for the evidence, you can create the evidence by choosing to step into the state now.
You can let the label go. Peel it off and choose who you are, the authentic you.
The truth is, the more you grow, the more you will encounter moments that stretch and challenge you. That is what progress looks, sounds and feels like. Feeling a stretch does not mean you are in imposter mode, it means your neurology is expanding.
NLP gives you the tools to navigate that expansion with choice, presence, and certainty. You learn to lead yourself first, so you can lead others with authenticity and impact in the future. You were never an imposter, now, you get to choose something different. You are not the label, you are the creator of your own reality. It is time for you to reconnect with what’s right. You discover how to think on purpose, communicate with clarity, and live from a deeper place of truth.
You deserve to feel congruent with your success and to know that you belong in every room you walk into. Not because someone gave you permission, because you decided to and from there, everything changes.