June 10, 2025
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Have you ever noticed how sometimes, when you achieve something wonderful, not everyone around you seems happy about it? Or perhaps you’ve held yourself back from sharing your success, concerned about how others might react. If so, you’ve encountered what is known as Tall Poppy Syndrome.
Let’s explore what the label of Tall Poppy Syndrome is referring to. As with most ‘syndromes’ of this type, that’s all it is really, a societal label to describe a collection of specific behaviours and emotions. I wonder if you will recognise any of them?
Tall Poppy Syndrome is most widely accepted as a social phenomenon where individuals who stand out through success, talent, or excellence are criticised, resented, or cut down by others. The term comes from the idea that if a poppy grows taller than the rest, it gets cut back to size.
This phenomenon is often driven by a cultural pull towards equality or conformity. While valuing equality is healthy, Tall Poppy Syndrome takes it to an extreme, where excellence is seen as a threat rather than an inspiration.
You may encounter Tall Poppy Syndrome in your place of work, your social circles, your communities, and even within your own family. Sometimes the desire to cut someone down is subtle, through backhanded compliments, passive-aggressive remarks, or withdrawal of support. At other times, it can be more direct through open criticism, social exclusion, or outright hostility.
Whether you are on the receiving end of Tall Poppy Syndrome, or unconsciously acting it out towards others, certain behaviours are often present in people who wish to cut others down. They may speak negatively about high-achievers behind their back, make dismissive comments like someone’s success is due to luck or privilege rather than effort, deliberately avoiding acknowledging someone’s accomplishments or even looking for opportunities to sabotage success, creating obstacles or discouraging someone from progressing further.
On the receiving end of these behaviours, certain actions often result in order to avoid the discomfort. You can begin to self-sabotage, holding yourself back from striving for more to avoid standing out. You may play down your successes in conversation or avoid visibility, intentionally steering clear of leadership positions or any sort of positive public recognition. There can also be fear involved in your response, fear of judgement and about how others are likely to perceive your accomplishments.
Tall Poppy Syndrome is not just about behaviour. All your behaviour is produced by your state, your emotional content. Understanding the attendant states can help you to recognise when the syndrome is at play and therefore encourage you to begin to get in control of your response.
Common emotional responses to other people cutting you down to size are those related to hurt, betrayal or disappointment towards those you thought would support you. Feeling shame in wanting to succeed. A fear that further success will lead to greater isolation. Perhaps an anger or resentment toward those who criticise you unfairly.
People who wish to trim others down to mediocre could be experiencing states like jealousy as they covet what others have, insecurity as they question their own worth in comparison to others or perhaps fear of being irrelevant or left behind.
There are also a common set of states that you may experience if you are fearful of becoming a tall poppy, like the guilt of perceiving success as selfish or arrogant. Anxiety as you actively anticipate negative reactions if you excel, or even another label, Imposter Syndrome, believing you don’t truly deserve your achievements (Please see our previous article to fully understand this label).
Recognising any of these states is the first step toward transforming your experience of Tall Poppy Syndrome. So, once you have recognised these states and behaviours, what next?
Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) offers powerful tools to help you address the beliefs, patterns, and emotions that fuel Tall Poppy Syndrome, whether that’s in yourself or in your interactions with others. At Quest for Success Ltd, we see time and again how freeing it is when clients realise they can choose their inner response and step into authentic success without apology.
Many of the behaviours linked to Tall Poppy Syndrome stem from limiting beliefs such as:
• “It’s not safe to stand out.”
• “Success will make people dislike me.”
• “I’m not good enough to succeed and so you shouldn’t either.”
• “If others succeed, I lose.”
Within the vast toolkit of NLP, we have something called a Submodalities Belief Change which empowers you to change the meaning of an existing limiting belief so that it loses its power over you and to install new, empowering beliefs, for example:
• “It’s safe and inspiring to shine.”
• “My success benefits others.”
• “There is more than enough success to go around.”
NLP is highly effective at helping you reframe how you experience states. Rather than letting shame, fear, or anger dictate your behaviour, you can learn to feel resourceful states such as confidence, gratitude, and resilience instead. For example, if someone makes a dismissive comment about your success, an old response might be to feel hurt or defensive. With NLP reframing, you can reinterpret the comment through a lens of compassion (“Perhaps they feel insecure”) and retain your sense of worth.
One of the most transformative uses of NLP is in shifting identity patterns. If you have internalised the idea that “I’m someone who shouldn’t stand out” or “I’m someone who plays small,” NLP techniques can help you develop a new, empowered identity:
• “I am someone who inspires others through my success.”
• “I am someone who celebrates my own and others’ growth.”
When your identity changes at this level, behaviours and emotions shift naturally and sustainably.
Many people experiencing Tall Poppy Syndrome have a harsh internal dialogue that reinforces fear and self criticism. NLP’s language patterns and submodalities work can help you shift this inner narrative to one that is supportive, compassionate, and encouraging. When your inner voice becomes an ally, it becomes much easier to take bold, authentic action in the world and to feel good about it.
One practical NLP-based tool you can start using today is the Circle of Excellence, sometimes known as the Ring of Power. It helps you to install resourceful emotional states so you can handle challenging situations, like those moments when you feel Tall Poppy Syndrome is creeping in to your neurology.
Here’s how it works:
1. Think of a highly resourceful state for you, one that you have experienced before and are good at. Think of a specific time when you felt that state deeply. Picture it clearly in your mind with any associated sounds and feelings included.
2. Imagine a circle of light on the floor in front of you. This circle represents your excellence.
3. As you step into the circle, bring the resourceful state fully into your body. See what you saw, hear what you heard, and feel the resourceful feeling.
4. As the feeling begins to leave you, step out of the circle.
5. Repeat this process as many times as you need for the new, resourceful state to really enter your body.
6. As you enter a situation where you anticipate Tall Poppy Syndrome (a presentation, a family gathering, a social media post), re-imagine the circle and step into your Circle of Excellence. Then act, be the tall poppy.
By regularly practising this tool, you train your nervous system to associate success with resourceful states.
Tall Poppy Syndrome is a label at the end of the day and you are empowered in the face of it.
Through conscious awareness of self and others and a healthy sensory acuity, celebrate your own success without guilt or fear, lift others rather than cut them down and create environments where excellence is encouraged and valued.
Imagine what becomes possible when you step into your full potential and inspire others to do the same. You become a beacon of possibility, one tall poppy who stands proudly in the field, encouraging others to rise tall as well.
If you are ready to delve deeper into the patterns that consistently hold you back and step into your authentic success, you can access our Enhanced NLP Coach Practitioner Certification Trainings and feel good about flying high. Your success is not something to hide or downplay, it is a gift that, when shared with humility, uplifts everyone around you.
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